Wonderland

Alice is the Wonderwoman of my land. She is simple and shy and wouldn't hurt a fly but she sure would like to watch a rabbit eat one. Alice is peculiar, a different kind of person, strange just like the average girl but so not like the average girl. Alice is intriguing all on her own and if you are around her enough she is someone that you will want to get to know. There are these times where she turns into this superhero that the world see's and everyone loves her. They all rant and rave, pull and tug, slowly but surely try to get close enough to say hello to this Wonderwoman that no one really knows. She is only Wonderwoman long enough for a few to catch a glimpse of her. Then in a flash, she creeps back into the shadows and Alice is born again. Though, Alice doesn't know that a handful of mindful people discover her secret of Alice the timid one, when she was supposed to be shining out her Wonderwoman. They keep it to themselves, these mindful ones; they don't want to expose Alice. The thought seems quite honorable at first -not wanting to tell the world of "poor young Alice." But really, they have a mind full of how they want to use the Wonderwoman, because they can, because they know she is Alice and "she will let them." These poor folks they get caught up in the Alice, the small, the cute, the meek and they forget about the Wonderwoman who is everything but weak. These mindful ones think highly of themselves to have found out about the Wonderwoman (they must be so clever they think in their heads) and to have seen what no one else has. Little are they aware of their foggy lenses: to have seen but never really seen, to have thought they had discovered the Wonderwoman and to have never wondered about the woman, truly, intently, deeply, to have known about Alice and thought she was the real and that she was the lesser.

There are others who have also unveiled the secret of this Wonderwoman: that there is an Alice too. These ones know the "truth", that Alice is the cover up for Wonderwoman, not the other way around. Wonderwoman is the real person and Alice is the one with the mask. However Alice also isn't weak, just unique and they like Alice too but oh when she turns into Wonderwoman, the contest is through. Wonderwoman isn't the mask to hide Alice. Alice is the mask to keep hidden Wonderwoman!

Wonderwoman Alice is the smartest of them all. She knows who she is, both Alice and Wonderwoman. Both true. She devised the plan and knows the peoples schemes: the mindful folk and the well-intentioned fiends. Wonderwoman is perfect in all that she has seen. Still, she has not seen everything for there is a mirror kept around the corner past the place where Alice and Wonderwoman collide and cease, where only a woman looking into herself can exist. In this mirror, if she would look she'd see the woman who she's meant to be. She would see herself in the pure gaze of her reflection, with the brightness beaming through the looking glass she would see with clarity. Wonderwoman outsmarted her wonder -her mystery. She thought her self too much and too little about the mysteries of piercing past the wondering into the knowing.

Alice the Wonderwoman doesn't know about this place where she can be known unto herself. She thinks only about her two selves and the two kinds of people who know about her two selves. She doesn't think about the crowd beyond in the shadows who she thinks don't know her and don't care. She doesn't know that those shadow-people are important. Those shadow-people live in the shadows as she does and if she were to look at them long enough 'til they have faces she might just discover something. If she were to see their faces like hers she might even begin to see herself in them, like a reflection, and she might, just maybe, she could unlock a mystery about herself through them. All this is contingent, of course, upon the realization of the shadow-peoples existence long enough to wonder about their importance. But she pays no close attention to these people with faceless names because she thinks she already knows about herself and they make no difference all the same. Deep down, she knows she wants them but she thinks she is afraid.

Wonderwoman might seem like a fearful little girl to you now but do not be fooled as Wonderwoman has been. She is the strongest of us all. She has kept hidden her Wonderwoman and her Alice not of fear but of strength. How is this?, you might begin to wonder of this woman. It is as so: this woman is in a hidden place and she has been here for so long. It is not of fear that she is kept in this hiding place -no- it is of strength. Why would she fear herself into a place of being unknown? Why would she do so when what she wants most is to be known! At the core of all she is and does is the desire to be known and it rules her every moment even if she doesn't know it. How could someone who wants to be known so ardently be in a hidden place because of fear? Is fear so great a thing that it overpowers a persons most force fueled drive that is, to be known?

Alice the Wonderwoman thinks it is. She thinks so greatly and lowly of fear all at once. It is so great and strong a thing and she despises it for what it is, as the lowliest of things. Yet, she thinks she is ruled by it. It is her master (so she thinks to herself). So as she is ruled by what she serves, she becomes what she despises: a great and lowly thing, Wonderwoman and Alice. She has become the lie that she has believed, a great and lowly thing. This is what she believes rules her, it has power over her, it is her parent whom she takes command from and what guides and leads her into all "truth", she trusts her maker who is birthing what it is: a daughter of fear. Our wondrous woman has turned into a person born by the seed of a lie. She has become Wonderwoman and Alice, both her, both real , and (she thinks) both from fear.

Such a tragedy you may think, yet again do not be fooled as Alice has been. It appears so monumental a thing to over throw a queen whose name is fear, but it is not as it may seem. There is something that she can do to undo the fool and it is a feat but it is easier than it shows itself to be. Our Wonderwoman has to get past the fear of facing fear to where she finds herself alone then fear is gone. How can this be? All the fear is in the facing. Once she gets past the fear of facing fear, well, she has gotten past fear, now hasn't she? It is a fearful thing to have to face fear, but when she makes the decision to face fear that means she has gotten over the -fear- of facing fear. It's all in the decision. She will have gotten over the very mountain that she needs to climb over. So simple: to just decide. Yet this is the land where Alice has found herself lost in -a place of not deciding. It is not that our Wonderwoman has decided not to face fear nor is it that she has decided to face it and couldn't. It is that she has not decided at all. Apathetic. Stagnant. Living in the shadows with indecision as her sidekick. However, once she faces fear and kicks indecision away she is in a place where fear is gone and she is alone as she feels, not being known. So then, if she is alone in a hidden place and fear is not there, why is she there? What is keeping our Alice the Wonderwoman who is not an outcome of fear (because fear is done away with) in that place where she is not known?

It is her strength that keeps her hidden.

It is a strong thing to remain hidden when what you want most is to be seen. It is a strong thing to not shout to the land, "I am Wonderwoman, I am Alice, all parts of me true, all parts of me good, here I am." It is a strong thing to feel as though you are alone and to stay that way still. It is a strong thing to keep all of your facets a secret.

IF our dear Wonderwoman, could perceive past the fear she's claimed as her own and disown it, then yes, she would still be in that place of hiddenness, but she would not be there because of fear. And IF Alice knew she was the way she was because not of fear, but of strength, then she also might come to question this strength and test its truth. Is it really strength that is keeping the Wonderwoman concealed, Alice veiled? How can it be strength when she is so weak and she feels it all the more.

Questions of this strength will arise.
And when they do, she will discover the truth that this strength is not her own and she is not alone and she is being known in this Wonderland that for now, is her home.